Archive for March, 2009

difficult to please
March 29, 2009

one sure thing i’ve learnt this week: it’s difficult to please everyone.

well, not complaining, because i know that it’s a real issue. where there’s people, there’s bound to be conflicts. how we handle them in a sane manner is the crux i think.

quite obviously, i’m not cut out to lead people definitely! we had games week today, and i got frustrated trying to even decide where to play the games! some people couldnt leave the church, others didnt want to play in the hot sun. still others preferred not to even play running games (like frisbee) and some were too tired. no, i’m not complaining about them, i am just angry at myself for not being decisive. as a leader, i know there are always hard decisions to make, and often i just have to make it, even if it angers some and disappoints others. but i’m too much a crowd-pleaser, or nicely put, i just want everyone to be happy you know, and i find it difficult to make a decision! those who know me know that i’m one of the most indecisive people. argh, for goodness’ sake, joce!

and then, now my mom doesnt want us to cook dinner, while kor and dia are so excited about cooking dinner at home! i dont mind anything, just want everyone to sit down happily and have a meal but it’s so hard cos now i already have one justice bao (i.e. black face) at home. two more coming in at 4.30 once they see the first bao gong. i tried to deal with the first bao gong nicely, but obviously, bao gong shows no mercy at all.

ironically, she just came in. LOL.

ahh well, i know that pleasing God should be the utmost importance. sometimesΒ i feel like i’m losing it. i want so much for the youths to bond together, but not just in games and activities, i really wish they would go deep, spiritually. i admit it’s difficult, and honestly, i sometimes doubt the decisions i make and the things i say. am i neglecting the Word? have i prayed enough. are the youths stirred up to pray? shall we invite a speaker in today? or perhaps we shld relax and have some games. “decisions, decisions”.

i’m thinking of teaching sunday school. children’s ministry has been something i’ve always had on my heart, but well.. it’s a tricky thing for me, cos i’m afraid i’m just interested because i wanna run away from youth responsibilities. that said, i’m pretty sure bringing kids up in a godly manner is in no way easier. one thing for sure, at least it’s time for other youths to rise up (oh yeah we’ve been at this issue for ages!) but how much to let go.. who to? definitely need lots of wisdom on that. i wish someone would come up to me and volunteer to take charge (like God spoke to them clearly or smthng) so that i dont have too much to think.. hahaha.. nah joce, you are really taking it too easily!

really feeling oh so inadequate! 😦

what brings me great comfort at the end of the day is, God’s will does not crumble because of a leader like me. really really thank God for that! on top of that, i need to feel inadequate, because i am and i need God’s life-transforming power to work in amongst us.

thank God for the little birthday cake surprise too! i was honestly a lil disappointed that some forgot my birthday and there was no cake 😦 hahaha. i mean i’m always the one getting the cake, i’d love one too! and yay i did πŸ™‚ so happy! thanks mq and liru- the chopstick sisters (hahahaha so amusing!)

we’ll keep on moving, moving.

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happy 22nd ME!
March 25, 2009

happy birthday to me! πŸ™‚

it has been a really eventful birthday, and i was feeling so high and emo last night! πŸ˜€ hence, i thought i’d better just blog in the morning πŸ™‚

there were many surprises and disappointments. perhaps you gain some, you lose some too.

anyway, the highlight of my birthday was definitely the very very enjoyable time spent with lyanna and sarah! πŸ™‚ i’m really very happy that each birthday, i get to spend it with them. though there werent any fireworks or bouquets or expensive dinners, i really enjoy every single minute, and i thank God for blessing me with two best best friends like them, really.

sarah baked me oreo cheesecake! it was so good, cafe standard. thumbs up sarah! πŸ™‚

the second highlight was a very good dinner with deb, catching up and just talking about random things. it’s always so good to have these little chats. i shall miss them when she graduates next year. deb, though studies are very important to me, so is your friendship, really. i wont neglect our friendship larh! hahaha.

mummy got me a cake at 12 am last night πŸ™‚ so sweet! and everyone of my family remembered, as they should! haha. my dear bro bought me purple rose on sunday. it was so sweet. i know flowers are impractical, but i really like the moment of receiving flowers and staring at them makes me feel so sweet inside. maybe it’s a girl thing πŸ™‚

every year, there are always a few people that i definitely look forward to receiving wishes from, and most of them did, so i’m really very happy!

jw didnt come down to celebrate my birthday this year, but i understand and i’m glad that he stayed up despite being so tired to call me. it really means a lot to me.

sha called me at 12 too! haha i definitely was expecting that. though she sounded 99% dead on the phone, i was really happy and touched πŸ™‚ thank you sha, i love you so much!

laozhong also wished me. that was expected, since he’s in singapore! hah. but what really came as a whooping surprise was harold’s long distance call from UK. i was reallly very touched honestly. i dont know if he was reminded by facebook (i highly suspect so, judging from his giggles), but i was really happy and surprised to receive his call… so thoughtful, and unexpected!

then, finally at 11.59pm, boonkiat called me. good old brother, never forgets my birthday! i feel so bad that i forgot to call him on his birthday though i remembered! arghhh i can never forgive myself! haha whatever the case, i hope he knows how much his brotherhood means to me! (i was almost gg to kill him if he forgot, seriously!)

and i got a nice card from joanna. so sweet of her.

i do have a thing for cards! πŸ™‚

the usual good friends wished me, and i’m glad that they remembered! manda, grace, char, yvonne, silkee, layming, ohjix, zhang etc etc. i’m happy girl! BO JING forgot. she’s sooo going to get it from me ><

so all in all, i received very good surprises and wishes, and i’m really glad. today’s dinner with mummy, and tmr’s dinner with lalang and gang! πŸ™‚ so happy!

Protected: though i havent lost my faith.
March 20, 2009

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hello world!
March 19, 2009

wee! a brand new blog, a brand new perspective on blogging.

since this’ a much more personal blog, i guess there’s more room to speak about random issues, and be more emo! πŸ˜› kidding. still get to update friends about stuff, share about my faith. and, just to rant, in ways that i sometimes cant in the previous blog!

dont worry, emo posts will be password protected so that only emo people can read! heh.