Archive for November, 2009

so i will try
November 25, 2009

i’ve been in a relatively good mood these few days 🙂 despite all the studying (actually really havent been doing much!)

anyhow, i finally got to talk to isaac yesterday 🙂 it was a happy conversation, as always. i always look forward to those random calls once in a while. i realize that i’ve learnt to let go more, not to hold on too tightly to this friendship that i treasure so much. i guess the recent spate of events in both of our lives had taught me so. and surprisingly, i feel that i can enjoy our friendship so much more than i used to! 🙂 as best friends, i just hope that he will always be so happy and driven and passionate about God and life! and it infects me, really! 🙂

i also finally got to catch up with harold khooooo on facebook. it’s always a happy thing to talk to him. our friendship has always been a very unique one; in all my other friendships, there’s always a slightly down side, like quarrels, misunderstandings, or something else. but harold is such a happy person from inside, we’ve always been happy happy friends. when we’re together, i become the “wonder” in me. i hope God will bless him with someone very special soon.

i hope LZ will not be angry with me for too long!

i feel like whatever i’m going through with JW mirrors what i went through with isaac some time ago. i shld learn to chill. haha.


and where do i go from here?
November 10, 2009

it has been a long time since i’ve blogged. i wonder if anyone still comes here to read. but anyhow, it’s just an outlet for me to rant.

i was accepted into a rather prestigious internship and i was really very excited. however, after yesterday’s meeting with the mentors, my dreams were sorta dashed in some way. the prof remarked that even though i have very good grades, i cannot enter into any postgrad programs because i am not currently taking a thesis. and i dont plan to. this internship’s involves clinical psychology, and it was my dream of being a child clinical psychologist since i started university. so after the meeting, i went home to seriously think about taking a thesis. but i really dont want to; partly cos i am really really lazy to do a thesis and i’ve never been interested in research.. and partly cos i’m suddenly not sure if going into the clinical field (or studying Masters) is something that i really want.

through the last two years, having abandoned my teaching award, i’ve struggled with comprehending where exactly God wants me to go. is teaching not the path for me? since young, i’ve loved teaching and loved children, and other than being a psychologist, teaching has always been something on my heart. a desire to pass on something to the next generation, and a desire to impact lives in a unique way. being a psychologist has always been a dream, and i guess yeseterday i finally concluded that it will always remain a dream, and going into teaching seems like the path for me right now. it has always been a struggle between psychology psychology and teaching.. and though it seems like a waste to not practise psychology after 4 years of education, i can happily say that i have enjoyed this course and have fulfilled what i’ve always wanted to do since secondary school. i believe that having studied psychology made me a different person; more perceptive and reflective in some way, and always a desire to know why and more. although there are times i’ve regretted not doing something prestigious, i believe God has placed me in this major for a good reason, and i am glad that i’m loving this study.

and so, i guess i’m pretty bent on going into education. hopefully that’s where God is calling me to. perhaps i can be a counsellor in school as well! 🙂

i dont know why i suddenly feel so insightful and enlightened! i know it’s so silly of me sometimes, but i dont know why i always choose to follow my heart in every thing i do. well honestly it’s irrational most of the time (like giving up thesis), but at the end of the day, i always remain steadfast in knowing that despite the roundabouts, u-turns and mistakes in my life, God is always in sovereign control, and loving Him is ultimately and only what is truly important in life. 🙂

thank You God, for the peace.